Faery Tales
by Scaramouche
Summary: A few little tales told in the personality of our favourite fictional characters from the good ship Andromeda. Me funny.
1. Harper's version of Goldilocks

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes (AN): A few little tales told in the personality of our favourite fictional characters from the good ship Andromeda. Me funny.  
  
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1st Story: Harper's version of Goldilocks  
  
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Once upon a time there was a young girl who lived deep in the forest. She had hair that looked to be spun of gold. Her name was Golden Hair or Goldie for short.  
  
One day she went for a walk in the woods and came upon a cabin that she had, miraculously, never seen before. She went into the house and set about destroying all of the owner's personal belongings since they weren't there. Soon she got bored and lied down for a nap.  
  
Whilst napping the family came home. They saw the giant blonde grizzly bear and promptly shot it on sight.  
  
From that day on bear hunting became a favourite family pastime. 


	2. Beka's version of Repunzel

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2nd Story: Beka's version of Repunzel  
  
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Once upon a time there was a girl who was hated so much because of her beauty that an ugly old witch locked her into a tower. But after a few days she got bored and strangled the witch with her long ass hair and left.  
  
She walked through the woods nearby until she saw a prince sitting upon a large white horse. They did it a few times and then the prince told her he wasn't ready for a commitment and left.  
  
That's it. 


	3. Trance's version of Beauty and the Beast

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3rd Story: Trance's version of Beauty and the Beast  
  
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Once there was a young girl named Bella who lived with her father in a small house.  
  
The townspeople nearby thought her father was crazy but he was actually a brilliant inventor. He was called away to try and win a prize for one of his newest inventions.  
  
One of the townspeople, Gustin, thought she was so beautiful and attempted to court her. She completely ignored him and after her father was gone for such a long time she packed her bags and left.  
  
In the forest she saw such beautiful growing things that she decided to stay and just forget her father who was probably having a nice time anyway. 


	4. Tyr’s version of Cinderella

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4th Story: Tyr's version of Cinderella  
  
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Once.there was a lovely young woman of such perfect lineage that she was sought by all. She was strong and fertile. Her father's first wife died in a pride war. He soon remarried and not long after that he left and died in battle himself.  
  
Her stepmother and her two daughters were stronger by far than she and so they took all of her father's possessions and made her to slave after them.  
  
She worked up her strength and soon felt that she was strong enough to kill them all and take back what was rightfully hers.  
  
She gagged and bound the first stepsister and burned her alive in the orchard behind the house.  
  
She then proceeded to capture the second stepsister. She had her quartered by the Queen's favourite horses.  
  
She then went after the Queen herself. However, it seems she had over estimated her own strength, The Queen was well aware of Cindrella's plan to over throw her. She captured Cindrella and had her boiled alive and served for dinner at the royal court.  
  
Never under estimate the strength and cunning of your opponent. 


	5. Dylan’s version of Little Red Riding Hoo...

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5th Story: Dylan's version of Little Red Riding Hood  
  
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One day there was a young girl walking through the forest on her way to her grandmother's house. While walking through the woods a wolf came across her path.  
  
"Hello, little girl, what's your name?"  
  
"Petite Crimson Bonnet," She answered sweetly, "I'm going to my grandmother's house."  
  
"I didn't ask where you were going, you worthless little girl!"  
  
Petite Crimson Bonnet took out an axe she'd hidden in her blouse and chopped the wolf into tiny bits.  
  
Her grandmother later stabbed her repeatedly for being late. 


End file.
